Nathan shoved toys down the boy's toilet and our toilet. Luckily, he had enough compassion to leave us with one working commode downstairs. Snaking the toilets did not work to remove anything. Ken pulled up the boy's toilet, ripping out the improperly installed linoleum tile flooring in the process. After getting the toilet removed, he noticed the flange was cracked and leaking.
Off to Home Depot to buy a new flange.
After removing the flange, we found out the sub floor was rotted out because the pipe connecting the toilet to the sewer was cracked and leaking.
Off to Home Depot to buy a new sewer piping and materials for sub floor replacement.
Back and forth a few times to get the proper things to do the job.
Taking out the sewer pipe was a messy, horrible job. Ken said he was so happy we have a wet/dry shop vac. After getting the toy removed, pipe replaced, and building a new sub-floor we went out to the garage to find extra flooring tiles.
There weren't any.
Oh shoot.
The tiles that came up with the toilet were torn beyond patching. We needed a new floor.
Off to Home Depot to buy a new floor.
We researched out flooring options and decided to go with vinyl planks called TrafficMaster Allure. It looks like tiles, but installs in panels that have interlocking glue strips. The floor is actually a floating floor and does not connect to the sub flooring, which meant we could save the cost of needing to install an underlayment before the laminate flooring. (Wow, I know way too much about this.) The flooring is sold in boxes of 8 panels and we needed about 18 panels to cover the floor. That meant we would have enough to re-do our master bathroom floor as well. Yeah! Ripping up the rest of the boys bathroom floor was the next step. This part was relatively easy because (as anyone who has taken a shower in that bathroom without the bath mats down) the self-stick tiles were improperly installed and they stuck to your foot rather than the sub floor. The hard part was scraping the glue residue off the floor and using some special kind of compound to level out the floor.
Off to Home Depot to buy leveling compund.
The result before new flooring.
He got the flooring installed and it looks great. Unfortunately, the quarter rounds on the base boards didn't come off the wall well and would need to be replaced. This was the time I was sent to the store on my own.
Now that's trust.
Our bathroom floor during the toy removal process.
It finally looked like everything was fixed with only trim installation left. That's when little Kenny used his bathroom to do the "big job" and we found out the toilet was still clogged. We're pretty certain that this toy was put in at the same time as the others, but it was stealthy and didn't interfere with the flow of things until there was poop in the toilet. Surprise! Ken tried snaking the toilet again, to no avail. Once again, Ken had to remove the toilet. He then spent a couple of hours tooling, heaving, cursing, praying, and pondering child sacrifice to get the toilet gods' assistance in getting this @#%!$ toy out. No luck. At one point, with the toilet upside down in the bathtub, the auger got stuck during yet another hopeless attempt, but this time there was a faint ray of light at the end of the tunnel. (Actually it was a faint glimpse of blue plastic just beyond reach in the opening of the toilet drain.) The auger was wedged in tight behind this little plastic menace. After breaking one auger and sending a stream of toilet-sediment up his pants, shirt, the wall, and part of the ceiling, Ken was a little reluctant to pull with all his might to break the auger loose this time. With this faint glimpse of hope (blue plastic) Ken's creative juices started flowing. First he tried "flushing" it out with the shower. No luck. Next he tried "pushing" it out by snaking the broken auger through the other end of the toilet. No luck. Time for some serious outside-the-box brainstorming! Out came the Dremel, with its 3 foot flex hose attachment and universal drill bit. 10,000 rpms of fury crammed up the backend of a porcelin throne. (Yeah, THIS was a good idea!!!) It made scratches on both the toilet and YES!!! the plastic toy!!! Now we're getting somewhere! Prodded on by this tiny bit of success, Ken was anxious to win, and came up with the Atomic Bomb of ideas. Fire. He headed to the garage to go get some gasoline. He was going to torch the the toy out! Whenever Ken gets "in the zone" it is my job to sit back and watch him as he busily goes about his work. While it can be entertaining watching Ken in a frenzy like this, the real reason I watch him is to make sure his ideas don't get past a certain point of stupid. Fire in the toilet is that certain point of stupid. I stepped in and tried to reason with Ken about fire in the toilet. It didn't work. I at least got him to trade the gas can for a bottle of hairspray. With the kids downstairs in a secure place, a fire extinguisher in one hand, and a phone with 911 on speed dial in the other, I let Ken go upstairs, alone, with his pyrotechnics in tow. I don't want to know the details of what transpired after that point, but a little while later, with a funny smell in the air, Ken started hooping and hollering with victory. He had melted the toy loose and got it out! While Ken finished cleaning the remnants of the previously-freshly-installed wax ring off the toilet, I checked the bathroom for scorch marks. Again, I don't want to know the details, but het got it out, and didn't burn anything, except for the blue plastic traingle puzzle piece that was now a smoldering heap in the tub. Wow!
We researched out flooring options and decided to go with vinyl planks called TrafficMaster Allure. It looks like tiles, but installs in panels that have interlocking glue strips. The floor is actually a floating floor and does not connect to the sub flooring, which meant we could save the cost of needing to install an underlayment before the laminate flooring. (Wow, I know way too much about this.) The flooring is sold in boxes of 8 panels and we needed about 18 panels to cover the floor. That meant we would have enough to re-do our master bathroom floor as well. Yeah! Ripping up the rest of the boys bathroom floor was the next step. This part was relatively easy because (as anyone who has taken a shower in that bathroom without the bath mats down) the self-stick tiles were improperly installed and they stuck to your foot rather than the sub floor. The hard part was scraping the glue residue off the floor and using some special kind of compound to level out the floor.
Off to Home Depot to buy leveling compund.
The result before new flooring.
He got the flooring installed and it looks great. Unfortunately, the quarter rounds on the base boards didn't come off the wall well and would need to be replaced. This was the time I was sent to the store on my own. Now that's trust.
Off to Home Depot to buy new toe strips.
I was almost out of the parking lot when Ken called and asked me to get a certain type of caulking.
Off to Home Depot to buy caulk.
Time to put the toilet back on. Ken spent a good amount to time scraping the old wax ring off the bottom of the toilet.
Off to Home Depot to buy two new No Seep beeswax rings.
After getting things squared away in that bathroom, he moved onto the master bathroom (without the pipe or flange replacement). Luckily, since the new flooring is floating, we were able to simply place it over the existing floor.
Our bathroom floor during the toy removal process.
Off to Home Depot to buy a new No Seep beeswax ring. The people at the store now know Ken quite well. We are expecting Christmas cards.
Toilet back in place and working quite nicely (we tested it with a big wad of toilet paper to make certain) we finally come to the trim replacement. True to form, Ken got creative when he came across a problem. We have two little "lips" of ceramic tile that we needed the trim to go around. Ken used a utility knife to hand carve the vinyl trim to make an exact fit. I told him not to cut his fingers off. He said it would be fine if he went slowly. apparantly, raazor blades don't cut if you go slow.
Toilet back in place and working quite nicely (we tested it with a big wad of toilet paper to make certain) we finally come to the trim replacement. True to form, Ken got creative when he came across a problem. We have two little "lips" of ceramic tile that we needed the trim to go around. Ken used a utility knife to hand carve the vinyl trim to make an exact fit. I told him not to cut his fingers off. He said it would be fine if he went slowly. apparantly, raazor blades don't cut if you go slow.
My bedroom during the put-it-back-together phase. I have loved having half the garage in my bedroom for a week.
Ta-Da!
P.S. I am taking bets on how long it takes Ken to get all the garage stuff out of our bedroom and back into the garage. The winner gets... something that I will think of later!
(P.P.S. Keep in mind it took a full year and 6 weeks to get the dining room wall fixed.)
Ta-Da!
P.S. I am taking bets on how long it takes Ken to get all the garage stuff out of our bedroom and back into the garage. The winner gets... something that I will think of later!
(P.P.S. Keep in mind it took a full year and 6 weeks to get the dining room wall fixed.)
8 comments:
I love the finished job! Never mind I don't know what 95% of what you said meant.
You do know way too much about toilets and the surrounding areas!
Sadly I understood everything you were talking about. As for your bet. My guess is when YOU get tired and haul it out yourself. That puts it about Feb or March, after baby.
my bet is 2 and a half weeks. KENNY GET TO WORK... I WANT THAT "...something that I will think of later", And by the way I meant to YELL THAT!!!!!!
What a great story- at least you got a new bathroom floor out of the deal! It looks nice!
Chiara, I'll be honest - I found myself chuckling at more than one point during this tale.
As for the removal of the garage from the bedroom, I'm going to guess 4 weeks.
what an ordeal! I am sure you are glad that is over. I am pretty sure I would turn to the lock and key after all of that.
For everything to be moved back to the garage I am gonna go with by the end of November, most of it will be gone and if there is still some left it will be completed after you go to the hospital to deliver but before you come home with the baby. I'm sure Kenny would make things nice for you to come home to! (wink)Dont let me down Kenny.
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